Nate's in the kitchen making triple chocolate cookies, while I'm sitting here at my desk in the office writing this and hardly able to stay awake.
I have already laid out my clothes for tomorrow for work, I'm buying my lunch tomorrow (too tired to make my own, despite the mental nagging to be thrifty as usual), I just cleaned my dresser mirror which Nate and his dad so kindly put up for me today while I was at work (Terry, Nate's dad, was in town for a day for a work conference), I thought about doing some yoga but scrapped that knowing full well that during the mediatation exercise I would just fall asleep on my bedroom rug like I used to in yoga class....(relaxation, people!), LOST is recording on the DVR and I'm not so sure I'm gona make it through tonight's episode with this serious case of the sleepies, and I, quite frankly, didn't feel like doing anything in which I would have to exert myself, except perhaps brushing my teeth a little early, but that seemed pointless too, seeing as though I would doubtless need to taste-test what comes out of the oven in a little while.
....
Speaking of taste-testing, Nate just brought me the bowl and spoon to lick from all the premium chocolate he melted....mmmm....ghiradelli....mmmm... What a nice husband. :)
....
Anyway, I am totally drained and it is only Wednesday. For the last three days I have been delusional, thinking it was Friday at various points of the day while at work. I'm not usually this catatonic at work; who knows. I think I'm just tired in general and hit a temporary wall. There are several things that seem to be contributing to my fatigue, and they all seem like reasonable excuses, which I'm sure someone could validate for me. First, Nate didn't get that second job he applied for and so hoped to get-- big poo poo on that one. Then, we didn't know until last Friday whether or not he would be employed past yesterday (his company extended his contract another quarter, so til end of June--- yippeee!, but wait- there's more...). We still don't know what we are going to do long term for employment and whether or not his company will take him back (and back on salary) if we decide to 'retreat' from this economic bust back to Minnesota. We live in a constant state of flux, and have for about a year now-- it is getting pretty damn old and stressful.
Second, my supervisor caused me to hit an emotional/professional wall on Monday. I was so upset by some of the things she said to me and how she said them that I could have clobbered her. Instead, I went up to my office, away from her, and called to complain to Nate, then subsequently was consoled by a close colleague who is starting to see and feel some of the supervisor's shit as well. Don't get me wrong, I love my job; I just hate it when one person really ruins much of the experience by getting under your skin. Thicker skin? I'm working on that, but how thick must it really be? I am not a crocodile, nor do I thick that should be necessary. Stand up to the little....., and risk an all out brawl in which my future employment references could be sabotaged? Not good either.
I'm ranting because I'm tired. This chocolate helps pretty awesomely though...
Maybe I'll go brush my teeth after all.
