Tilly, the unlikely cat
Happy belated holiday scramble, everyone.
Above is a picture from Nate's annual company holiday party, 2009 (which is held conveniently the first weekend in December, providing plenty of time to make holiday pictures to give out). We didn't actually have a tree of our own, so we borrowed theirs.... So Merry Christmas, Happy Human Light, Happy Verdukian-mas, or whatever else you celebrate-- hope it was grand.
In December, Nate and I adopted Tilly the cat - a kindly 14 year old I never thought I'd have trapsing around anywhere near my dwelling. I've always been mildly-moderately allergic to cats, so I was hesitant at first-- not to mention totally biased against hissing, self-centered felines. I grew up with dogs, and friends with cats which I avoided as much as possible. I've always regarded cats with a certain disdain, probably stemming from their general attitude towards their owners (spiteful and territorial) as well as owners who wantonly or seldomly vacuumed their seemingly endless amount of fur (gross and bad for us allergic folks). I just assumed that sweet and gentle cats didn't exist, nor did I care, thinking all that hair was not manageable. Well folks- I was wrong on both accounts.
Tilly was formerly my mother-in-law's cat, but due to certain circumstances Nate and I decided to take her in. Ever since I met Tilly (more than 8 years ago now....whew!), I have always been fond of her, a feeling which always provided me with a certain amount of internal conflict. We decided to take her in on a trial-basis, to start. It has been nearly 2 months now and I actually feel as though I've adjusted, provided regular vacuumings, dustings, and brushings occur. She has really been nice to have around and has given a little lift or energy to my spirit, which I haven't felt since my last pet dog, Sam, passed away in 2000. It is truly lovely to have that extra loving presence around again! Even... if it is 8am Saturday morning and she is "moo-ing" or "quacking" outside our bedroom door to be fed! (She does indeed make the weirdest noises!!)
Over the holiday months, I was able to get a bit more organized with not only "things" (e.g. finding & setting up furniture, opening & emptying moving boxes), but also with Nate's and my routines. Nate has gotten settled into going into an office in khakis and sweaters again, as opposed to sweatpants and sweatshirts in a home office. It has been kind of a switch for us because I have been home alot doing other things. I used to commute away from home daily and he stayed in, or telecommuted. Try that one out sometime. Ugh.
I have taken up 2 major activities in the last month: 1) a part-time internship at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts (MIA), and 2) a resumption of my master's thesis project, which has been on hiatus for about a year and a half. #2 is all I have left of my degree program, so it is about time I made it official. This is what will be occupying most of my time through this year. I want to finally finish and in the meantime, hopefully, get my feet wet again in the Twin Cities museum/arts/culture job scene. Hopefully by December, something will look promising and the economy will have picked up enough to offer me something here, and not force me to look elsewhere. Never say never, but Nate and I currently are not keen on moving again anytime soon...
It really has been nice to be back to Minnesota-- in numerous ways. We had a series of in-law family issues right away in November/December that we got thrown into the moment we got to town, it seems; the holidays, of course, which was a social marathon; familiarity of place and people which I haven't had in 3+ years; and ability to have casual encounters and gatherings with family and friends, which I've missed. It is cliche, but until you've lived far away, it is hard to explain how much it means to just "be around" again for important events; I feel that I savour those moments just a lil bit more.
Of course, I won't deny that reuniting with the various MN clans hasn't been entirely pleasant and easy. I think since I've been gone for several years, I started to idealize in some small way what it would be like to "come home" again. I have tried to remain vigilant to this tendency, but I have felt a bit of this welling up within me. I believe I am comfortably past the young adult stage of "coming home to mom and dad;" I think that fantasy has faded in the last few years. I think everyone must go through this in some way (mostly in your 20's I suppose), and I've accepted it as a good change with room for more.
I think the changes that have actually been hardest have been with my peers, not my family. My peers are at the age where major life changes are happening-- marriages, children, jobs/careers, education (and disparity therein), establishing geographical roots (or not), and establishment of our adult selves. I really think the last change is the most significant because not only are we establishing who we are, who we want to be, and how we want to be seen, but we are also establishing how we react to the choices and changes of others. I feel as though I've learned quite a bit in these fields over the last couple years, both stumbling and maturing along the way. This subject has been pervasive in my thoughts lately and the only blanket statement or mantra I seem to be able to convince myself of is that acceptance and understanding are really the key ingredients. We are all individuals with our own paths, expectations may or may not be met (often because they're wrong or misguided), and regardless of what anyone says, you have to do what makes YOU happy. We all make our own happiness, so we should be willing to accept the choices of others seeking their own happiness. Apologies and forgiveness will always be necessary components; we're all human and self-centered and stupid sometimes. It takes two to disagree and two to forgive.
If that seems a bit contemplative, it is. It's good to get it out there and see how it sounds. I don't want to make light of it because I have put quite a bit of thought into it and feel minutely more at peace with those thoughts now.
Time will tell what adventures I'll have next.
