Under the graduate gun

So, I am now well into the semester, seeing as though we've already finished week 4 of 15. Just thinking about it and writing that gives me a jolt.
I guess I'm writing because my current general feelings are regarding my academic committments, the stress they're causing/will cause me, and a general feeling of being overwhelmed.
I know I'm ok, well, so far. But, I still have lots of work to do in those last 11 weeks that I'm in school. I've even had the thought that I might not graduate in May, but rather after the summer due to the workload. I think maybe i've pressured myself so much to finish "on-time" -- whatever that means -- that I haven't allowed life's inevitabilities and curveballs to fit in my 'perfect timeline.'
C'est la vie, non?
Well, maybe; all this remains to be seen.

Because I always seem to do well and better in school, and generally in life, when I work out more, I knew it was time to try out some yoga dvds since I never seem to make it to the gym on campus. I have an excercise bike at home that I use several times a week, but that gets repetitive and sometimes I wish my schedule didn't conflict with the free yoga class on campus. I miss yoga alot because it was one of the first things that I ever tried that actually calmed me down: nerves, tension, and racing mind. I've even fallen asleep in classes before in under 10minutes during the lay-down 'meditation' portions -- even during the busiest and most stressful weeks. It was down-right miraculous.
So, I bought myself some follow-along dvds to try out so that I can do yoga at home. I know i need someone else guiding me for many reasons, but primarily because if there isn't a guide, I'll get frustrated or lose interest. So, hopefully some newly inspired home yoga will in turn inspire some much needed calmness and focus in me for these next 11 weeks.

Of course, I can take those yoga lessons with me beyond just academic tensions...and also into the summer while the wedding planning and job searching intensity go up and up!

I know this is a short post for me, but I think I'll keep it at that. Brevity over gregariousness for now.

namaste.

Historic Cedarhurst Mansion pics

Here is a preview of the Wedding venue, albeit in snow, from pics that my mom took about 2 weeks ago!:

Saturday, September 27th, 2008

Save it. Remember it. Be there.

McCann-Therneau wedding.

Finally- a date.........

Cedarhurst Mansion, Cottage Grove, MN

*wheew.....

Bat-shit crazy

Who all has heard the term "bat-shit crazy"?

If you have raise your hand.


What did you do that for? I can't see you and if there are people around, they now think YOU are bat-shit crazy.....

Anyhow, the Urban dictionary defines "bat-shit crazy" as:

1.
Acting in a generally insane manner; Tom Cruise.
When Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch, he proved he was bat-shit crazy.
2.
One step beyond just plain crazy. It is usually a temporary thing...sparked by something unexpected, or just really awful.
As soon as he saw me humping his mom, he went bat-shit crazy.
3.
Crazy to a degree bordering on complete insanity. The state in which one makes decisions which make the exact opposite of sense. See also: bat-shit
Example of usage: Why did Erin cheat on you with that greaseball? - Because she's bat-shit crazy.

This excerpt taken from: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bat-shit+crazy


You know that Swedish (or whatever.... something -hausen....) syndrome where once a topic is brought up, you just keep hearing about it ALL over the place for a while? (Mom- help me out on the name of that phenomenon...) Well, last weekend either me or Nate, or our native MN'n friend Nicki used the term 'bat-shit crazy' to describe something, and our friend Dustin (Nicki's husband, a native Iowan) had never heard this term before, much to our surprise. We discussed the definition and usage of the term and recognized that it is indeed a strange phrase.

Since this discussion I have heard Stephen Colbert (whom I would love to have officiate Nate and I's wedding.....just a little FYI that anyone could pass along to him...) use the term on my favorite show the Colbert Report, and also on at least 2 other tv shows.

Now I concede that using this term calls for desperate sentiment when attempting to describe something or someone, say Tom Cruise as above mentioned, or, say, Kim Jong-Il (leader of N. Korea, for those of you who have missed his 1993 inauguration...ha...and all of the bat-shit crazy things he does--- ooooo! I used the term!).

BUT: where does this term come from?
I invite you all to contribute your ideas and input on this serious matter.

I postulate that it relates to the harvesting and usage of 'bat shit,' or 'guano' as fertilizer, thanks to the creativity of Benjamin Drake Van Wissen.
cf. http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Guano
Every time i type in 'bat-shit' into an online dictionary i get something related to fertilizer or guano. Perhaps the vast quantities of guano harvested to produce fertilizer creates some type of awe among its procurers, or perhaps the fume or ingestion of said guano affects the procurers in some way unknown to the general public.
If someone could find out and post it in the comment section, I would be forever grateful and would be pleased to have your contribution to this mystery.

"Monsters kick ass"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_zK2apRHI4

Some parent(s) out there has not been using appropriate language around lil children.....
And this is the result....

Hahahahah....



Nicki- I totally ripped this off your blog... THANKS!

Ice Storm aftermath

Even the trees are super weighed down by the ice. Mine and Nate's car TOTALLY covered in ice- which took Nate over an hour to even get IN the car after chipping the key hole and door.
And the window even was frozen. The parking lot was/is an ice rink of probably 2" of ice.

SAFE internship :) :) :)

I am very happy to proclaim my victory in getting an internship with SAFE, Saving Antiquities for Everyone! WHOOOO! :)
Please see their link on the side bar or take a gander here:
http://www.savingantiquities.org/

This is an organization for which I have wanted to work since I first heard about it. The right time and circumstance presented itself, and now I can do an internship with them virtually (by doing research and writing articles) next spring, and earn credit toward my master's degree.
I encourage you all to at least take a minute or two peek at their website to see what they're all about!
If you're even a little bit interested, join their emailing list to see what kind of stories or events they provide.

That's my lil plug for SAFE.

This is all i'm gona say.........

Oh yeah- there'll be some nicer pics up soon from the formal company party we attended last weekend where we're decked out in swanky, non-baggy clothes..!!

belated, bulging update w/various thoughts- today's topic: thoughts on leadership and other various stuff

Salut mes amis!
I guess that fabulous Thanksgiving break update didnt exactly happen..... I'm pretty sure it was the most productive and busy holiday/student break i've ever had. I finished a paper, prepared a presentation, completed alot of research, etc. I hardly had time to do some extra work hours in the Museum, which you'd think i'd have w/o classes in session for an entire week. See, this is graduate school: even though you dont have classes doesnt mean a whole lot for how busy you are; you find ways to fill the gaps very easily......like all those things you're behind on or plan on BECAUSE you arent having classes. *whew. at least i made it through the week and the following one, too.
As for Turkey- very little was had. I went over to another grad student's house the friday before Thanksgiving to her lil pre-thanksgiving party and before many ppl took off for the week. We had the full turkey spread- mashed potatoes, stuffing, pies, etc. That was my Thanksgiving that night, and it was fabulous. Later in the week actually on Thanksgiving, Nate and I ate leftover lentil soup....! Ha! Oh well. We didnt really care cuz we weren't goin back to MN for the weekend and weren't about to cook an entire turkey for ourselves, so we were perfectly happy to eat Nate's home-cookin and watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. It was just perfect for us. It was even a lil cold down here in MO- surprisingly.
So, I just have this coming week of classes and then the following week of finals left for this semester, then i'm home-free (kinda) until late January. Obviously I still have alot to do before December 14th, but I'm happy so far w/how this semester is going. Over, winter break I will still have to be working diligently on my thesis, esp. when i return to Columbia in early January. I'll at least have 2-3 weeks to let my brain return from mush to functional over the holidays!

Now on to my main topic: leadership. For the last few weeks now I have been pondering on this topic- how it is defined, what it means in action or inaction, who has this skill, etc. This issue has been swirling in my head i think since sometime mid-semester because I am the "Art History and Archaeology Graduate Student Association" treasurer this year. This means I work closely with the 2 co-presidents of the organization, and also handle all of the money, including writing up budget proposals for funding for various travel, speakers, and general expense events, and also this year's money manager for our bi-annual spring symposium. Additionally, the 'ORG,' as it is called, is the University's student organization funding resource as well as guideline setter and enforcer for student groups on campus. They are a royal pain in the ass- and hands down the worst bureaucracy i have personally dealt with thus far. Putting it into perspective though, having to deal with them is not so bad considering all I have to do is arrange and submit documentation and budget applications to get 'free money,' which is funded from portions of the Student Activity Fee, which all students pay. Anyway, my point is that the position is fairly labor-intensive, which some of my AHAGSA colleagues will confirm upon any mention of 'the ORG'. Additionally, the treasurer has to work with other symposium committees' members to access ORG funds which they grant us when it comes to symposium planning and prep. There's alot of communication that needs to happen and we're a fairly informal organization, often different depending on the year's co-prezes, so sometimes communication skills are lacking. In this case, we start to have internal issues which i believe all stem from lack of communication. Recently, let's just say there was an 'incident' in which this was the case. It caused problems, which ultimately got resolved, but could have been done much better. Furthermore, I analyzed how i had personally dealt with the situation and i guiltily admit that, for my part, i know i could have acted better also. Hindsight is always 20/20, but does that count? In real life, which this position is preparing me for - i know, hindsight could easily be your last thoughts before being booted or fired from your position. Now i know what i can do to right my wrongs and have learned from this experience, but are some ppl naturally better leaders? Or, is it merely a matter of who has the most experience? Or, even, is it some combination of the two?

I got to thinking about some of the leadership training i had in high school and the leadership camps/retreats that i went to over the years. There is always one phrase that immediately comes to mind when i think of what leadership means: "The enthusiasm of the group never rises above the enthusiasm of the leader." This has always been a mantra that i've followed since it was practically engraved into my brain over successive years. This doesn't mean that a leader has to be constantly bouncing off the walls with obvious energy (in fact, that can be quite annoying), but that in moments when it matters and in communication with constituents (which should be nearly constant), a leader should always have a positive, uplifting, and motivated attitude which is clearly accessible and discernible, and if they have enough charisma, contagious as well. Is charisma learned, or does someone just have 'it'? That's debatable. I think charisma is certainly a positive addition to other leadership skills, but not necessary. As for the mantra, is this really true? I've been reflecting on the ppl in my life, now and in the past, who i feel are/were leaders, in some way. In thinking through the lists of names, some of the most successful leaders were the 'quiet' ones. Does this contradict the mantra to which i have for so long adhered? I got to thinking about this question and it is my conclusion that the quiet ones were successful because they listen well and therefore are successful in the eyes of their constituents because they accomplished some of the goals of the group. Because they were a listener and less of a communicator or talker, they were not as successful as they could have been. But- there's a fine line here. A communicator can go overboard by always discussing and never acting because they are so busy being engaged but not actually 'doing' things by themselves, despite perhaps well-delegated responsibilities. So, there has to be some greater balance between the two extremes. A leader cannot simply go about his/her tasks robotically and be passively agreeable; they have to be assertive both in giving and receiving information, that is communication skills. Aren't some of the greatest American and world leaders often given the epithet of 'the great communicator'? Pres. Bush will never earn that one, to be sure.

So, i rest my case in saying that my long-held mantra is only part of the story of what makes a leader. I think i need a new mantra to go along with it, not replace it. Additionally, I think i need to listen even more and press for more information when i dont have enough. Ppl listen to you if you have a record that shows you can get things done, and done well.
If you have any thoughts or mantras i might consider, write me a comment!

In other news-
I went to the Twin Cities this weekend for the annual LSS formal dinner at the top of the IDS tower in Mpls, which is Nate's company's holiday party. They invited me last year too, but i got snowed into Columbia. Instead, this year there were white-out conditions, aka 'blizzard,' in the Cities, which was esp. fun to watch from 50 stories up in the middle of downtown. It was truly the stereotypical conditions in which to visit home. I was only able to visit Friday afternoon to Sunday morning, (the dinner was Saturday night), but it was completely worth it despite being in the midst of my term finals. The dinner and dancing and people were all fun.

And, as my last note, Nate got to introduce me to his colleagues as his fiancee..........!

Take care and keep in touch :)

Stay tuned for Thanksgiving update next week....

Hey folks

Seeing as though I will have a week off from classes and some of my regular routine, I will be updating my blog with an entry next week. Right now, I've just got to write/finish this American archaeology paper and survive the next 36 hours or so before my brief holiday break begins.
Wish me luck and keep an eye out for a new post next week sometime!

-cmm

look out covergirl-- Mona Lisa beats those luscious lashes (& brows!)

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/17/monalisa.mystery/index.html

"...a French engineer and inventor says he's uncovered part of the enigma.
Pascal Cotte announced at a press conference Wednesday that he has found definitive proof that when Leonardo da Vinci painted the original portrait he included "Mona Lisa's" lashes and brows.
Cotte examined the world's most famous painting using a high-definition camera of his own design. The device scanned a 240-million pixel image using 13 light spectrums, including ultra-violet and infrared.
The resulting ultra-high resolution photograph of 150,000 dots per inch yielded a reproduction of the "Mona Lisa's" face magnified 24 times. And there Cotte found the evidence he sought -- a single brushstroke of a single hair above the left brow. "

Pretty crazy stuff- read the article (it's not very long!)

Botanical art depicts Dalai Lama's garden, Chaska, MN

If you have a chance sometime this fall (now through Jan. 6th), go see Dianne Aigaki's beautiful botanical paintings of Indian and Tibetan plants from the Dalai Lama's garden! The picture is one of her paintings on display at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum in Chaska (SW suburb of the Twin Cities). I've seen other paintings like this at the Botanical Gardens Archives in St. Louis, so I will probably go see this exhibit when I come home for winter break in December.

The name of the exhibit is: "Dream of the Turquoise Bee: The Search for Wildflowers in Tibet." And, here is an informational website published by MPR: http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2007/10/15/botanicalpainter/

Let me know if anyone wants to go with me!

Map that named America!

Go see this exhibit if you're in the Twin Cities area anytime between now and the end of the year:

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2007/09/27/oldmap/

This is the first known map to use the name 'America' on any part of the North American land mass. It has its 500th birthday this year, having been printed in 1507 at a little monastery in what was then France, now Germany (I think I have that right!). For those with little 'American' history background, the name was adapted from the European explorer Amerigo Vespucci, who was a contemporary of Christopher Columbus. Martin Waldseemuller, the map's maker and a German monk & cartographer at the church of St. Die (SE France, SW Germany area), felt that Vespucci was the first explorer to realize that New World land mass was a new continent, NOT India or 'the Orient.' Henceforth Waldseemuller applied Vespucci's name to the map, not Columbus's, despite being familiar with the travels and tales of both explorers. Furthermore, Waldseemuller felt that naming the New World 'Vespucci' or 'Vespucia' would incite fear due to the meaning of the last name: wasps, bees, etc. (like a 'Vespa' modped). So the first name was adapted into the female, latinized version of Amerigo.
And that's the mini-version of how America got its name! But there's alot more fascinating facts to learn about the technology of printing this map, the academic book on cosmography that would have accompanied it (which the James Ford Bell Library also has a copy and is on display), and also the story of how Waldseemuller had a change of heart and later removed the name 'America' from his subsequent maps, but the name had already stuck among cartographers in 16th century Europe.

Go see it! Be amazed!

p.s. I got to help with the research of this map summer 2006 (last summer) under the direction of the Curator, Dr. Maggie Ragnow. :)


Details:
Where: James Ford Bell Library, 4th Floor Wilson Library, West Bank, Univ. of MN-TC, Mpls
When: October 1-December 31, 2007
Contact: 612/624-1528 or jfbell@umn.edu

where the hell is fall?

See that white tank-top in my last post's picture of me? Well, in doing laundry today I'm pretty sure I came up empty-handed in finding it. I think the travel monster ate it... and it was one of my favorites too! I think between my weekend excursions here and there lately, I left it in a hotel or something. Well, at least no one will see my white-tank yellow-underarm-'spots' anymore..... haha..... Maybe that's too much information? oh well..

Lately I've been pretty busy, and I think I actually need to take it down a notch. Between classwork, 2 jobs (one my grad appt. and one extra), new round of physical therapy for my hands 2x/week, and other misc. meetings for my thesis or whatever, and the treasurer obligations....... etc. etc.... I think I need to cut back a little somewhere. I think putting in so many extra hours at my jobs just for a little more $ is addicting, but not as appealing anymore now that the semester is in high gear; so, i think i'll be cutting back there a little. Additionally, I think i need to start prioritizing my time a little better and writing things down more often... I screwed up 2 professor meetings last week: one i wrote down the wrong time and the other i just completely missed somehow. I was so upset w/myself, esp. after the 2nd time. I think I need to take a deep breath and slow down; this way i'll feel as though the element of control is moving back my way. Plus, I've kinda lost some of my stamina in the evening hours, when i have the most time for reading and other schoolwork. I think the reason is partially that i spend virtually all day everyday on campus/at work that I'm totally spent when i get home and need to continue productivity. Secondly, I think not being able to run or workout asmuch for the last 2 months has kinda sucked, thereby draining my physical health to a small, but significant daily degree. I actually ran for the first time this weekend on my healing foot (the one i dropped a weight on in late August, and was told 'it's probably not broken' but had to stay off of, nevertheless endure daily soreness). It was SO nice, but i had to be careful to ease back into it- both for my foot AND my lungs... I could tell i hadnt run in a while... sadly. Running has always made me de-stress and have more overall energy- so i'm glad to be back, even at a minimal level.
Ultimately, my body has given me some difficulties as usual, and i've had to work with it and around it. Perhaps acceptance of limits and 'saying no' not to others but oneself is the lesson here. I also think being aware of yourself and your body are key; hopefully my recent awakening of little things, like missing appts. has woken me up.
I'm sure other people can relate to these kinds of things, so hopefully that all made sense. I did type it pretty fast and with little editing.

This thursday is my first real midterm exam--- already! How did that happen so fast?? In any case, I'm pretty sure i'll be ready because i've been keeping up pretty well in that class and have enjoyed it so far. Immediately after that, however, (and timed around a slight mental break after midterms) I'm takin a little trip up to the twin cities to visit family. It's purely a family visit, unlike some of my 'recent' trips home, which have had purposes like attending a wedding or event. Nope- this one's vacay and family time. I really miss being home, having a real fall where the weather's cooler, and just being around familar surroundings. However, as with many of my visits home, there's always an element of apprehension. My family has gone through alot in the last 2 years or so especially (and that's an extremely conservative number in the grand scheme of things), and relationships in my immediate family are still often very rocky. Going home means alot of things to me: comfort & discomfort, happiness & sadness, joy & anger, and much more. Just clicking 'purchase' on the online airfare site, solidifying the fact that i'm going for a visit, i have to admit, was a wee-bit emotional in some deep internal way. To my close family members and friends who keep up w/my blog and the events of my and my family's lives-- we, my family, still have a long way to go. Some members, one in particular, don't quite understand that, and I'm often afraid that that person won't ever understand that, and miss the last boat, whenever it comes. More on this some other day. This is a start for me on this public form in my personal goal to be more honest.

In other news, I have started very preliminarily looking around for jobs, post-graduation (ahhh!!!!). I found a couple at the Art Institute of Chicago that I think i'd really like, but it's still very prelim interest and findings. My concern w/those positions is that they wouldnt want to wait for me to graduate in May, but who knows? Can't hurt to apply!! Guess I better start writing my cover letters and updating my dusty resume!

Shout-out: To Laura. My favorite FBI hopeful who just passed the Secret Service exam! congrats!!! :)

-c

School's in session...again...

Above: 2 cute monkeys at the STL zoo
Below: me and Nate in the 'mod pod' that took us up the Arch
Below: looking down one arc of the Arch! ahhh!

So, I'm back to launch in about what's going on with me lately.

My summer ended with a nice long weekend trip to St. Louis with Nate, where we did all the tourist'y things like ride up in the Gateway Arch, go the the STL zoo which is in Forest Park (the creation of an early 20th century World's Fair), tour the STL Museum, ride the metro, see Busch Stadium where the Cards play, and see the abundant and ubiquitous Anheuser-Busch advertizing. We wanted to go the Busch Brewery and see the clydesdales, but it was a little out of the way, so we didn't make it. However, we were entertained by the company that our hotel was hosting for a few days: people who were attending a matchbook conference! Yes-- that's what I said, 'matchbook conference'! Nate even overheard some old folks collectors who were chattin' it up about heart-shaped match heads and how rare they are....
Takes all kinds I guess.

August abruptly 'ended' for me on the 20th, when I returned to classes for the fall. I still can't get used to starting this early, as compared with the U (ofMN), which always starts the day after Labor Day. During the last week of August or so, I was listening to MN Public Radio at work, as usual, and they had a bit on why school starts when it does. Apparently, starting after Labor Day has much, if not all, to do with the agrarian calendar (of farmers) and also with state and county fairs, where families, esp. kids, get to show off their summer's crops. Fairs became the traditional end to the summer and the last 'hoorah', so to speak, before the academic year began and kids had to leave the fields for most of the day. The Univ. of MN has continued this tradition longer than many comparable schools because the State Fair grounds overlap with University grounds and, of course, (student/staff) parking. I always used to assume it simply because the Fair shares space with the University, but it is much more culturally involved than that. Interesting!
Too bad I have to start so soon here at Mizzou, but at least i get an entire week off for Thanksgiving---- suckers!!

Well.... I'll have to come back to this post since dinner's ready now... :)

I'm back... mmm... Wendy's (my friend, not the fastfood joint) New Orleans style rice'n'beans......... and I watched the documentary "Ringers: Lord of the Fans," which is all about the history of fan culture surrounding the Lord of the Rings series. Pretty interesting, and pleasantly brief. It doesn't compete for content with the special features already on the special edition DVDs, so that was really nice. Plus it's narrated by Dominic Monaghan, so a familiar voice is appreciated.
Thank god for Netflix. Is that a shameless plug? oh well...

Back to current events...
The first couple weeks of classes were actually rather 'anti-climactic' as I kept telling people when asked how things were getting on. What I mean is that when compared to my spring semester's course load, which was 4 classes- each of which had 'sit time' (actual sit-in-class time), my current fall course load masquerades as a cake walk. I am only enrolled in 3 classes (which is normal, as compared to 4), only 2 of which I actually have sit-time; my 3rd class is my thesis research, meaning I occasionally meet w/my advisor(s) and mostly just go to the library to finds reading/research materials, and then sit around and read it or toss it. Of course, my thesis is one of the most important works that I'll produce as a Masters student, but currenly I appreciate it even more because I have more freedom in my own time scheduling and management. Lest you think I'm being lazy this semester, I should say that I have stayed on with my summer job at the Univ. Archives in addition to starting my new academic year appointment as a graduate research assistant to the registrar of the Museum of Art & Archaeology (Univ. museum housed by my dept.). You could say that instead of an extra class I have an extra job, which is just fine, as it entails no homework, pays me, and looks good on the resume. :) Furthermore, I couldn't turn down the appeals of my peers last spring to be our grad student association's Treasurer, which does entail quite a bit of busywork and/or paperwork throughout the year, much like my post as Grad. & Professional Council rep. last year. Because it is a Symposium year (biannually our dept. hosts a 2-day art history & archaeology student symposium where students and one key-note scholar present their recent research) I will be in charge of the cash-ola for that in addition to regular stuffs. I think I find I'm happier with more to do...!

Anyway, the 'anti-climactic'ness I was talking about was because my appoinment with the Museum didn't start until the 3rd week of classes and I had virtually no class time to attend, so I spent my first couple weeks working a lil more at the Archives, but mostly just wandering back home early, being subconsciously confused about all the time I had. At least I stayed on top of my class readings for those 2 weeks!! haha.... It took until about the end of last week (week 4) to really get into the swing of things, set a schedule, and feel the course & activity load I have set up for this fall. I'm pretty sure I felt the initial intensity by last Friday (2 days ago), when I'm pretty sure I partied out the fatigue at our dept. grad student Wines of the World party--- which was oh so much fun!!!... ;)

I really like what I have going on here this fall, but as I see the 1st year grads settling in and going through the fledging rounds of their first semester, I have started to realize that I'm no longer new, despite still often feeling like it. This is my 2nd and last year, all at the same time. I feel as though I've really come to love the community of people here, even if I could really leave the city of Columbia and return to my natural, more urban habitat. There's a real push and pull, and I think it is going to be harder to leave than I can quite grasp yet. But- there's still another year.... and another cycle of all the fun things that graduate student life has to offer. I won't name names yet, but I know already that there are people that I will miss more than others- and I mean that in the most positive way.

Those are my thoughts for now, and take care,
Chris

Candor

Hello my longtime, but sometimes seemingly distant friend, my blog….

I know that I do not always write regularly, and I’m sure that it is apparent in most of my entries that I feel guilty about this, (I mention something about this nearly every time), but honestly, I do feel guilty. I will, as usual make the promise to blog more regularly. It’s kind of like communion for all the Christians of the world, or New Year’s resolutions concerning weight loss, or what-have-you: a renewal of a promise you always intend to keep, but somehow you just aren’t perfect.

I think lately, whenever I consider blogging, (which has been a lot lately, might I add, due to recent events & thoughts), I wonder and perhaps even struggle with what my blog is to me; what is its function? It can’t really be a personal journal because technically it is published material, and is seen by close friends and family- those at whom I often become most happy for or enraged with. By speaking completely (and I mean completely) freely I violate and alienate those people; but, on the flip side, I feel fake and shallow if I do not tell the truth about what’s going on in my life, esp. on something that is still so personal as a blog. What I’m saying is: if I’m angry, do I blog about it? if I’m happy do I blog about it? if I’m sad or some other feeling, do I blog about it? And I don’t just mean things concerning myself, but I mean these feelings concerning my family, close friends, colleagues, etc.? Even if I am careful, I might hurt someone’s feelings or say too much, or something, or even the simple fact that I am blogging about someone else might hurt their feelings because I either did not go to them first or already talked to them but needed another outlet anyway. I'm quite sensitive to this. I guess my conclusion lately has been to sit on my hands and not blog. I used to journal all the time as a kid and a teenager, but as I got older, it got harder and situations (of more and more adult nature) became harder and harder to articulate in 1,000-2,000 words or less on paper without killing your writing hand or absorbing all of your time. I’m a pretty social person and I consider myself to be rather introspective, so often I feel that I need both social and personal outlets to go over and iron out my thoughts.

I guess in a way then, through all of this written meandering I’m saying that I would like to try to be more open, esp. about certain areas of my life that I have not previously been able to be open about. Part of this is personal, in the sense that I, myself, wasn’t ready; and the other part is external, meaning other people weren’t ready or wanted the information shut up or didn’t (want to) admit to it. I have found that in my experience, you have to care of yourself first, others second- in order that you might be able to help others better, but not necessarily for this goal; perhaps you take care of yourself only to survive. I know this might sound all complicated and deep – and in a way it is – but really, I mean not to expose some sensational revelation like being gay, or a Marxist, or adopted, (none of which I am, lest you be confused about what I am driving at), but rather to be more open and candid about my life in general, and hold back less. Perhaps in the long-run it will be less sensational and surprising than it might sound, but to me it is a step that is a long-time-coming, and has taken a lot of thought and growth to reach. In a way I hope that it will be my social release from the constraints of wondering what people, in particular my family and close friends, will think—that is, if they even still read my blog!....

I do have to say though that when an issue becomes more candidly revealed it does lose some of its ‘exclusive glamour,’ if I can coin a term, but it can also be quite freeing as well; I suppose one must weigh which is seemingly more important at the time: keeping something to oneself to ponder, or pandering to friends and family for advice or help on that issue. At this point on my blog, I will be preferring (or at least trying to prefer) selective pandering to bottled up pondering.

Well, that’s 775 words right there. If I had had to handwrite all that, I’d be done for sure; thank the stars for computers and keyboards (yes, yes, I know typewriters have been around forever, but you had to practically punch the keys, which again would be tiresome!)

So, do I plow on into recent issues, or is this enough for now? I feel pretty spent having finally written the above material down. I’ve had it circulating in my head for some time now, and I’m not quite sure I have the energy and momentum to keep writing…. for today anyway. What I have said already, is already quite a bold move on my part, at least in my opinion.

However, I do have some announcements:

I would like to congratulate my cousin Eric and The Alarmists on their first (full-length, right?? correct me if I’m wrong) CD, which is officially released tomorrow (on my birthday no less!) and also on their album release party this weekend! Rock on!

Also, I’d like to congratulate my friend, Catherine, on her surprising engagement!

Other than all of this, my own update is that presently I am taking a summer course here at Mizzou: German (bootcamp, as I call it). It’s 4 weeks of “Intensive” German focused primarily on the reading knowledge requisite needed for masters/Ph.D. students in my department (among other humanities programs). We don’t focus on speaking and listening, but rather it is much like doing Latin or (ancient) Greek where you only focus on reading comprehension and recognition. We essentially do a year’s worth of German in a month – yup – minus some of the frill. Class meets 2 hours/day, 5 days/week, and we have at the very least 2-3 hours of homework/night; so, needless to say I am keeping busy with schoolwork for the month of July. As for my June and May past activities, in May I did pretty much as little as possible, to be quite honest. I basically recovered from this last year of graduate school that I somehow managed not only to survive but do well. I swear I don’t know how I did it sometimes, looking back, especially those last 1-2 weeks of class and finals and papers. How the hell did I fit it all in?? It seems impossible if I itemized everything that I had to accomplish, but somehow mental endurance and a little bit of this and that (not to mention many a meal prepared for me by none other than the fabulous Nate) helped me to manage it all. Anyhow, by mid-May I was spent with regards to using my brain for just about anything…. For the duration of May I slept in, jogged a lot more than I’d had time to in weeks…months…, swam in the apartment pool, read fiction, caught up on favorite shows recorded on Nate’s homemade ‘TiVo’ (or DVR, for those technologically-inclined), and pretty much just absorbed the last 9 months of school that sped by seemingly like a flash – this is no euphemism. I often found myself staring blankly into space whilst stuck leaning on a chair, trying to figure out what to do with myself, not knowing what I was supposed to do with all of this unfilled, unplanned, unspoken for time. For 9 months I was conditioned into a completely contrasting lifestyle, and to have that world come to an abrupt halt one afternoon after writing my last exam, (which only seemed like just one more on the daily regimen) somehow managed to be overwhelming in itself. Is this what retirement is like?? There were no screams of delight like the good ol’ days of elementary or even high school, where everyone ran home or out to lake with friends; all I saw that last day of exams was droopy eyelids covering glazed over glances made even more exasperated by knowing sighs of Teaching Assistants glowering to themselves over the fact that they not only had to take exams, but also still had to grade the exams of their own undergrads as well. I guess I was lucky in that sense since my appointment didn’t include T.A.ing this year. It’s funny how well I remember that last day; you’d think it should be a blur, but it isn’t. I finished my exam, walked out, walked to my car, went home, and collapsed. No party, no elated yelps – just pure, unadulterated fatigue. The party, however, did come later- the following Monday was the department picnic, at which all manner of good ‘spirits’ were fully accounted for.

By the end of May I’d found a summer job which started on June 1^st; the University Archives has me scanning (digitizing), archiving, organizing, (etc.) many of their old, decaying negatives. It’s pretty boring, but rewarding work in the sense that I’m helping to preserve history. I’ve even come across a negative of Winston Churchill taken in 1949 when he attended a journalism awards ceremony here at Mizzou; so, occasionally I come across some interesting characters. I do this job part-time, and during June tried to do some preliminary reading and research for my master’s thesis, while now that German has started, I stay pretty busy with that instead. So now, between work and German I’m not back at full-steam, but it is a nice summer pace. Honestly, I can’t say that I mind the break, that’s for sure. Swimming is goooooood; relaxing is gooooooooooood; doing a little nothing once in a while is gooooooood.

I don’t really have any more summer plans than to finish up German (August 3^rd is our final exam), maybe visit St. Louis, do some other summer’y things, and prepare for the fall semester which starts August 20^th. I already visited the Twin Cities at the end of June for a few days when Nate’s dad got re-marrried, so I probably won’t go back until at least Thanksgiving, probably Christmas. Nice and easy does it this summer for me.

Well, that’s nearly 1800 words, so I think I’m done for now, but look out for more candid entries in the future. Write me comments if you’ve got any!

rodeo, research, Bob Dylan, spring break, paper-writing, and Museum assistantship!!

"Hi everybody! Welcome to Twins baseball."
Well, maybe not, but that's my tribute to the late, longtime Twins sportscaster (of 45 years, no less) Herb Carneal.
Someone has big shoes to fill.

Well, my blogging really has been sporadic at best, for which i apoligize a little, but really must reluctantly admit that it has a bit to do w/my wrists/hands.....still. However, I am glad to announce that things are finally, in a sense, coming under control in that area of my life. I visited a hand specialist in orthopedics here at the University clinic in Columbia, and she helped me out and gave me some tips and a new brace. I think it's helping alot, but it's starting to get pretty stinky from wearing it so much.... perhaps it's overdue for a wash... Additionally, i may be trying a new drug this summer called Neurontin (feel free to Google- it's quite interesting), to help "re-calibrate" the pain-sensing nerves between brain and hands. I've certainly done my research, including consideration from 2 docs, but it has one ill-effect that i am not particularly fond of: drowsiness/sleepiness. Two considerations to take into account: 1) I'm already on Zyrtec for allergies which causes me to be a lil slower than my non-Zyrtec'd self ALL the time, and 2) I'm in graduate school & very busy. I just cannot afford to pack on another drug that would exhaust me completely; so, i may try it this summer.
Other than all this, I had a sinus infection about a month ago, but i managed to kill it. ha!
That's my health update! :) All on the uphill thus far.

The picture above is from spring break last week when i visited my family back in the Twin Cities. I successfully dragged my parents and brothers to the Weisman's current exhibit on Bob Dylan! It was alot of fun, with historic photos of Old and New Hibbing, early photos of the Zimmerman family, Dylan's note in a friend's high school year book telling her she "has the prettiest hair in school," and of course plenty of paraphenalia related to his writing, compositions, music installations, and even one of his experimental paintings. If you haven't checked this out yet, you simply MUST! It's free and open to the public everyday except Mondays on the Univ. of MN's East Bank campus in the Weisman Art Museum (the big shiny, silver building!)
Also, i managed to convince my family to visit the infamous "watchtower" of Dylan's musical memory: the Prospect Park witch's hat water/watchtower, just east of campus, down Univ. Ave. It was so cool! ..."All along the watchtower.....said the joker to the thief..."

Sometime in late February I rallied up the troops for a field trip to the RODEO! My camera's batteries ran out, so i didnt get many pics, but it was still a fantastic experience. I brought along Nate, and 3-4 friends for this lil outing. Did you know that to get the bulls to buck, they squeeze the hell out of the bulls testicles???!! If i were him, i'd be pretty upset too.... There was some "animal rights" discussions about this practice, in which i mostly agreed that this traditional practice does seem a bit absurd, but very interesting nevertheless. The rodeo put on the typical contests such as: calf roping, barrel racing, bull riding, etc. Did you know that horses can sweat profusely? And so visibly? I had no idea! Guess i never thought about it. But after contests the horses would be corralled and watered and would just stand there panting and dripping. Pretty amazing. I must say that the type of crowd the the rodeo draws is definitely your rough and tumble, cowboy/cowgirl, red-neck or blue-collar type crowd. It was obvious, but sometimes hilarious what the current clothing "fashions" were. Stetson wearers unite in this smokey, dirty, but energy packed, beer-slogging crowd for what really seems to be a family affair.

Currently, I am in the midst of my last month of classes. This means that i am pushing the last leg of the semester which includes feverish compilation of research and the composition of 3 research papers and their accompanying presentations of findings to my classes. Oh yeah, I have to finish strong in ancient Greek, too.... So let's just say that soon i will fall into the vast vacuum of paper writing, only to resurface sometime around May 11th.

I do have one fantastic announement to make: I got one of the 2 coveted museum assistantships offered to the group of graduate students in my dept. for next academic year! I am EXTREMELY excited and also extrememly grateful to the advising committee for realizing my path for more career/goal experience. YAY!!

Next time i write i'll update some more on my progress/timeline in school, and what ill be doing next year and more on future plans. For now, these things need a lil more thought.

In other news, Nate had a great work-trip to Boston where he visited the parent company of his employer: Meditech. He's doing well and being given more and more responsibility as time goes by. I think his employer (LSS Data Systems, of Eden Prairie & Minnetonka, MN) reallly likes him...... ;)

That's all for now!
xoxo
C

January brought me to MN, Cali, and back to Mizzou

I was reaquainted with the ocean (and my long-harbored yearning for it) during a 4 day conference in San Diego for the Archaeological Institute of America's (AIA) annual conference. It was my first AIA conference and it was fabulous. I literally wore myself out, and so drastically that i scarcely scraped up enough energy on the last afternoon to make it to the airport. I think every moment i wasn't in lectures or symposia or stimulating conversations with new ppl or fellow grad students, or visiting profs from alma maters, i was running around taking in the sites or, (must i say it?) partying w/the clan. I haven't had such a full 'vacation' since backpacking. It was really good to see one particular former professor whom i haven't seen since December 2004, Mimika. She was a professor of mine while i studied in Athens, and over the last couple years has become a great mentor, through email and letters. It was really nice to see her. Furthermore, i must say that i think i dragged some of my fellow mizzou grads around a bit, sightseeing and whatnot, for which i think they are grateful despite their slothful whining from time to time. ;)

Christmas was a bust.
No, just kidding. Good catch phrase to keep your attention though. I spent most of winter break in good 'ol Roseville, MN with my family, 3 weeks to be precise, minus San Diego time. I was able to catch up with much needed rest, personal reading (no textbooks! yay!), some friends and mentors in town, and of course, family. Christmas with the McCanns was nice, and is rather scary at times-- when i see my 'little' cousins getting older and more mature in many ways, it really hits me that i'm 23. Yes, it is young, but perhaps i am just more aware of aging these days. Christmas with the Aamodts had a new twist, as we all gathered at Missy's (and Neal's) new, and might i say fabulous, condo. It definitely put a new shade on the color green of envy for all those envisioning themselves in a nice condo someday soon. I hope Missy reads this, because i really did like their design and decor. I'm not really sure though how they reach all those 12 foot shelves in the kitchen though..... (Missy is shorter than i am!) This year i got my grampa a little gift that i knew would make him smile: a little stamper that says, "Complete and Utter Bullshit" with little red inkpad!! I mean, the man has a great sense of humor and can only love so many new shirts or sweaters! He stamped pieces of paper for everyone i think.... Maybe ya had to be there, but i loved it, and i think he did too. He needs cheering up these days anyway. I think if i still lived in the cities I'd make more of a conscious effort to visit more often. At least he can yell at the neighbor kid now and tell him when he shovels poorly. Gives him something to do.

This semester I had decided to take an extra class now that i am all settled in and ready to tackle more. I am taking my 2nd semester of intensive (ancient) Greek, the History of American Gardens and Landscape Design (which covers my Modern art history/archaeology grad req.), Greek/Aegean Prehistory (which is in my field of interest besides the archaeological ethics), and lastly, a seminar on ancient (Mediterranean) wall painting. I think now that i've had a semester of study, i am finally able to start honing in on my interests, which right now is really archaeological ethics. I know i want to work in the museum sphere, but how exactly is the next step. I am going to start volunteering for the University museum (Museum of Art and Archaeology-- MAA), and look into a possible internship at an auction house in St. Louis over the summer. That's all i got so far for experience plans this spring/summer. Speaking of summer, i'm not really sure what i'm going to do yet. I do know that for most of June (and maybe a little at the end of May) i will be taking an intensive German reading course which will help me to springboard my German reading skills for the MA requirement. But, this will only be half the summer, so... i'm still researching options for the rest. I do know that i will be staying in Missouri and don't plan to travel much, except maybe to visit home or various friends. I want to start my thesis research this summer and focus on my studies, so finding a summer-sustaining job plus various volunteer or internship activities is a must.

One thing i am very excited about is coming up pretty soon, actually. I'm going to another conference during the last weekend of February which is being held at the Univ. of Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana. It's essentially an all day symposia that saturday where the topic of discussion will be....... archaeological ethics!!! The title of the conference is "Acquisition & Exhibition of Classical Antiquities," so needless to say, my attendance of this meeting is nothing short of exciting and perfect to further my interest and studies in this field.

well, this is my update.
-c

Where did november and december go?

It has certainly been way too long since my last update...
I promise a detailed update sometime in the next couple days, but wanted to post a "new" picture while i was thinking of it.
This photo is from the week before Thanksgiving, when i (and my fellow neophytes) all gave our best performance as scholarly lecturers over 2 nights. This photo is, of course, post lectures, as exhibited in our smiley attitudes. It was a very proud moment for myself and all of us, and really marked a milestone in our program. We received alot of accolade from the whole department, which was fabulous. No major screw ups, bloopers (yes, there were a few...), or fainting (thank god). All was well and fun.
Well, that's my brief tidbit to hold you over.
-c

Latest Exploits

The last weekend of October was spent in good 'ol Minnesota, celebrating my friend Mike's (& Liz's!) wedding. That's him in the shiny tux in the pic. He's my first close friend to get married, inside the country that is. Of course, some of Nate's friends have gotten married (one w/a kid already! gaaa!), but that's different. I have known Mike since 2nd grade, so this is quite the step. I'm proud of him & glad he picked Liz. Yeah, yeah, sappy sappy- but that's what we do around weddings- get sappy, cuz well, they are, but extremely fun & happy too!
So, this post is pretty boring so far to some of you. Sorry.
I realized how much i missed being in the cities last weekend; it was fantastic! I knew, while driving through Iowa and coming upon Cedar Falls and feeling exhilarated by the 'city-scape' that i missed the Twin Cities and couldnt wait to get home. A friend i had picked up in St. Louis asked how i could be so excited about a 'small town' in Iowa (having not yet visited me in Columbia, MO)-- so, i had to explain to him just how SMALL Columbia is. I guess seeing tall buildings, old graneries, a river w/dams, and whatever else adds to a city's skyline just sparked some energy into me. I thought it a bit weird myself, but hey- whatever lights your match.
It was great to have a little mini-reunion w/friends (who came in from all over) & even see my family, even if i was in and out of the house allll weekend. Hopefully i can persuade my fam to visit me over my WHOLE-WEEK Thanksgiving holiday!..... we'll see. i do have a father who much prefers to have ppl visit HIM, rather than he visit his children... *wink... It sure would be nice to have a turkey in my Missouri oven!....!
School has been giving me a bit of an up & down time as of late, but i'm pulling through, while not without much effort. Weeks 9 and 10 gave me hell, but i leapt over those hurdles and came out with some descent results. I think semester one of grad school is sposed to make or break you- so i'm taking it head-on. I have my 'hazing ritual' next Tuesday night: first year grad student public lectures. I will be giving a 20 minute talk on a small bone figurine of a Graeco-Roman goddess (Aphrodite) from the University's Art & Archaeology Museum which hasn't seen the light of day since its purchase in 1963. After that stressful expression of knowledge i shall turn my research into a term paper which pretty much constitutes my whole grade in my 'into to grad studies' class. Needless to say, i'm keeping busy & i'm pretty nervous for next week! Thanksgiving holiday week will only be that much sweeter once my talk is over.
Well, must get to work on my lecture before an evening meeting with Grad. and Professional Council!
take care, write me notes!
-c